I lasted about two days before melting into a sobbing mess at my mother's house and sputtering out the words, "I'm pregnant again!" I can't remember what her response was, because I was crying too hard. I do remember that the thoughts in my brain consisted of, "She is going to think I'm a moron," and, "Why the fuck are you crying so hard, this is what you wanted!" Shortly after we told the rest of our collective parents, but figured we should wait to tell anyone else.

I still had four months left before I graduated from college. I had two extensive research projects due, and a chemistry class I had been putting off for three and a half years. Holy shit, this would be a long semester. I immediately decided that most people need not know I was with child until I could no longer hide it. My former roommate, whose apartment I frequented between classes, found out when I broke into hysterics after visiting her after class one day and finding that she had gotten high and eaten all of my dill pickle chips over the weekend. I believe my exact words were, "You really can NOT eat all of a pregnant woman's pickle CHIPS!!!" Then, if memory serves, my head became detached from my body and I unhinged my jaw so that I could swallow her whole. Poor girl. I lived with her for three years prior to that, and never once bought dill pickle chips. She probably thought I bought them on accident and they were fair game for any stoner within a ten mile radius. Being the good sport that she was, she apologized and bought me more chips.

The next people to find out were my brothers. I felt it was only fair to let them know over spring break as we were driving down to Florida. After all, I was a basket case and didn't want them to think I was just some run-of-the-mill dramatic woman. No, no. Your sister is a nutjob because she is pregnant, and is morbidly obsessed with every possible complication that could possibly occur. I remember that we were at a rest stop somewhere in Georgia when I told them. They were both happy and gave me big hugs, and I felt like I should hold on to that moment forever. So I did.

I did because, I knew that no matter how loyal and loving and intelligent I was, most people would still be worried when I told them the news. Most people would also know how unstable, and dramatic, and careless I could be. Most people would still be worried. And I didn't blame them. But for a short while, I could keep this secret between me, Mike, my parents, his parents, my brothers, and my ex-roommate. And I could pretend that everyone would be happy, and that everything would be fine.

And it was :)